See that? No, not the stupid dove that sits on the peak of the roof all the time. Those round things...at the bottom of the white pipes. Those are boots. Don't worry...I didn't know that either. I do now...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Back in June I heard the weirdest sound coming from my scrapbook room...almost like the ticking of a bomb. Wayne would say the room often looks like a bomb already went off in there, but I digress. When I went to investigate, I could see it was coming from a plastic sack on the table but I couldn't figure out why it was making that strange sound. Enter Wayne who simply looked up and said water is coming out of the vent overhead. When it dripped and hit the plastic, it made a ticking sound instead of a plop. Oh, great...it's raining outside and the roof is leaking.
A cute little fireman named Paul came to my rescue. Well, he's a fireman one day out of every three and he fixes roofs on the other two. Hiram gave me his name; he'd gotten it from Dr. Dale. Good recommendations, for sure. Paul climbed up on the roof (a very fireman like thing to do) and fixed the leak. The boot was loose, he reported. I had no idea what a boot was but if it was fixed and I didn't have to worry about leaks, I didn't need to know.
Things rocked along happy and dry for a couple of months until all of a sudden in the middle of one of our thunderstorms, I heard the drip-drip-drip in the scrapbook room. Sure enough...it was leaking again in exactly the same place. I called Paul.
This time the boot wasn't just loose, it was broken. Do you have squirrels in your yard? he asked. Apparently the boot was damaged by squirrels. He went on to tell me how squirrels ate through the stucco and got into the attic in Hiram's house and how they'd eaten things on Dr. Dale's roof too. I knew all those things and also how the evil varmints had gnawed on the metal breaker box at Hiram's house, too. Yes, I've had an intense dislike for squirrels for years and this certainly didn't make them any more popular with me. I looked out in the backyard after he left and there were five of them scampering around. I'm sure they were plotting when to snack on the new the shiny new boots.
So I'm armed and dangerous again. That's right, the pellet gun is back out of the closet and I'm protecting my new $175 boots from these marauding invaders...now that I know what boots are. Those boots are made for keeping my house dry, not as a meal for rodents with fuzzy tails. Oh, not to worry if you're a squirrel lover...they're not in much danger; I'm not that good of a shot. But I can scare them and I am persistent. They now literally run for the woods when they see me.
Snakes. Squirrels. I guess you could say life at our house is a zoo.