Let me just start by saying my idea of a personal Hell would be a job that required me to roll garden hoses all day long. I mean, really...they're the most contrary piece of equipment ever. They never wind back up in an orderly fashion, preferring instead to flop around like a fish out of water. It's as if each coil is allergic to the one next to it. I'd say give me a map to refold any ol' day but then no one uses paper maps these days so the analogy would be lost.
That's why I was so happy when this baby came into my life:
While I might have looked at those television ads with skepticism, I readily accepted the recommendations of my friend Carol who pronounced it the cure for uncooperative hoses. It's light-weight so it's easy to drag it out to water the lemon tree and when you turn the water off, it practically crawls back into the hose basket by itself. Besides that, it's a pretty color of green. I went right out to Wal-Mart and purchased my own. That was last April and I haven't regretted it since.
It's rained so much this summer I haven't needed to water anything; Mother Nature took care of it for me. But we've had a stretch of several hot days without the daily shower we've endured since the end of May and the old lemon tree was crying for a drink. My plan was just to fill up the watering can and not mess with dragging the hose out to it.
I turned on the water and started filling the can when I heard a strange riiiiiiiiipppppp. I looked up to see a strange white form erupting from the pretty crinkly fabric. It was like some alien was emerging from my pocket hose. And it kept growing! The ripping continued and in an instant the white form looked like some long balloon a circus clown would turn into a giraffe. This is not good, I said to myself, as I reached for the spigot to turn off the water.
....it exploded, exposing it's lily-white innards for all the world to see. Well, if you could see through the fountain that now spewed from my favorite little hose and that fountain was aimed squarely at me. From my nose to my knees I was soaked by the time I got the water shut off. While I wouldn't have chosen to dowse myself like that, it actually felt pretty good because I'd just come back from walking my miles. It was a nice albeit unexpected cool-down.
We knew when we bought the hose that it wouldn't be around forever as the materials used to make it just aren't going to hold up over time. But I liked it well enough to replace it...at least once. I'll chalk the exploding hose up as a lesson in how things work. Or maybe better, how they don't.